


and i love you, i love you, i love you (like never before)

by scoutishere



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Oral Sex, Vaginal Sex, barry is extremely submissive and you can fight me on that, pre-legato, so much cuddling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-27 16:19:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19794520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scoutishere/pseuds/scoutishere
Summary: Barry deals with PTSD from seeing his friends die in the previous cycle, and the trauma of the Hunger. Lup helps him the best way she knows how.(In this fic, both Barry and Lup are trans. Both are socially transitioned. Neither are medically transitioned.)





	and i love you, i love you, i love you (like never before)

Lup hasn’t seen Barry all day. 

This wouldn’t be that surprising, considering that Barry has things to do on the Starblaster, and sometimes holes himself up in the lab or his study just to rifle through old notes from an earlier year or put his mind to good use. (Nerd shit, Lup thinks.) But the thing is that Lup has been looking for him, and can’t find him. None of the either team members know where he is, either. So, naturally, she’s worried. 

So he isn’t anywhere on the ship-- he has to be somewhere else. She gets the feeling he might have wandered off for research, and the world they’re staying in this year is a technologically advanced city-scape full of life and culture and wonder, and she curses him for choosing such a crowded place to disappear. 

The first place she heads is the one she’s familiar with: the crowded marketplace. But Barry isn’t there, not that she can see, through the bustling crowds of elves carrying fruit wrapped in paper and a gnome family with a good half dozen children and many, many more people. Besides, Barry doesn’t really like crowded places. He likes quiet scenes, places where he can concentrate. Does this city have a library? she thinks to herself, and gets directions from the nearest vendor that it does, and it’s right down the next alley on your right, m’am. 

She follows her directions and steps into a quieter, musty-smelling wooden structure, the walls lined with books of every genre, color, and size. She scans the small library, seeing a young dwarven lady who she assumes is the librarian nod in her direction. She sees a small boy that reminds her vaguely of someone she might know with his head buried in a book that is so large she’s afraid it could slip from his small fingers. Then, she scans to the loft above the attendant, up a rickety staircase, and sees a man sitting with his nose in a book. He’s sitting on this huge, ancient leather couch, with a pile of books sitting next to him, most of them with papers sticking out of them or pencils marking specific spots. On the ground next to him and the sofa, there’s another pile of books. 

She can’t see his face, but she knows that it’s Barry. 

She quietly but quickly climbs the stairs to the top of the loft, and takes a moment to just watch him read. Of course, she has seen him read a million times over their nearly half-a-century time together, but she never gets tired of seeing his face, engrossed in the text, absorbing the information. This time, though, as she approaches him, she sees that there are dark circles weighing down his eyes, and his face looks dark with exhaustion. His usually clean-shaven face is more than a bit stubbly, and he doesn’t take his eyes off of the book as she approaches him, seemingly unaware of her presence. 

Lup, for once in her life, decides to take the nicer route, because it looks like ol’ Bar could use some TLC right now. Gingerly, she reaches out to warn him of her presence. “Hey, Barry?” 

Despite her gentle nature, Barry nearly jumps out of his skin as he slams the book down on his lap, his eyes widening. “Oh! Oh- uh, hey, Lup.” 

The way that he’s acting would be amusing normally, but the humor is lost on her, because she’s just a little too worried about the whole situation. “Barry, are you okay? Nobody on the ship knew where you were, and I haven’t seen you since yesterday.” 

Barry’s expression shifts from surprised to guilty, bringing a hand to scratch at the back of his neck. Lup shifts closer to him, sitting down next to him on the gigantic sofa, letting their knees touch gingerly. He takes a deep breath, before burying his head in his hands, the book still open on his lap. She immediately reaches for him, putting an arm around his shoulders and holding him close. At this point, she’s extremely worried. What has gotten Barry all worked up like this? 

Barry is silent as he breathes deeply, burrowing closer to Lup’s frame. Lup waits for him to steady his breathing before she speaks, letting him calm a bit. He sits up, and looks at her, and gives her a weak smile. 

She tries to smile back, but she’s not sure if it’s convincing. “Hey, hey, Bar, can you tell me what’s wrong?” 

He takes another breath, closes the book that’s on his lap, and sets it aside, atop the pile sitting on the couch near them. When he speaks, his voice is a bit hoarse, but not in the way that turns Lup on; it’s hoarse from lack of use, like he hasn’t spoken to anyone in at least a day. “I couldn’t sleep last night. I kept thinking about how last cycle, we couldn’t save the people there. I spent so much time trying to figure out how to get the Light, and it was all for nothing. I guess- I guess it made me feel a little, I don’t know. Hopeless?” Barry’s deep, soft voice is quieter than normal, and he isn’t looking Lup in the eyes. Instead, he’s speaking down at his feet. 

Lup’s hands automatically come to his chin, gently bringing his face up to lock eyes with her. Her heart hurts from Barry’s words, because she knows that feeling, too. It’s something they all have to deal with: coming to a world each year, the pressure of either helping the population survive, or letting it be devoured. The last cycle, Barry had done more field work that usual, because there was a science-based organization in the more densely populated part of it, and they’d all agreed that Barry was the best fit to try to get information from them. He’d joined up as a recruit scientist, and spent a lot of time on the ground with that group. “Barry… I know how much that hurts, having people ripped away from you. But it isn’t your fault. You can’t blame yourself. You have to try to let go.” 

Barry’s face is dazed, as he looks around at the books piled next to him and at his feet. Lup’s fingers, still gingerly touching Barry’s face, can feel his cheeks heat a bit, in embarrassment. “Yeah. I know you’re right. It’s just… really hard, Lup.” 

“I know it is, Bar. But can I take you back to the ship? I feel like you could really use some rest. I’m worried about you,” she says, and she feels uncharacteristically nurturing, but she can’t help it. Barry is her family, and that’s not to mention the other feelings she has about him, too. But that’s not what she’s thinking about right now, even if the shadow of facial hair haunting his face makes him look ten times more rugged than usual. 

Barry nods slowly, and they both gather up the stacks of books and return the un-read ones to the dwarven attendant, who gives them a grumpy look as they exit. Somewhere along the way, Lup’s hand entertwines with Barry’s. She doesn’t mind. She gives his hand a squeeze as they walk back to the ship from the mainstreet of this city center, and he gives her a sheepish look and a squeeze back. 

Finally, finally, they’re back at the ship, and it’s approaching evening. The sun is beginning to set on the horizon of this world, making the sky a breathtaking smattering of purples and pinks and oranges, and Lup points it out as they’re about to board the Starblaster. He smiles, but barely looks up. His eyes are hazy, so she doesn’t blame him, but it seems that his gaze is set mostly on her, instead. 

As they board the ship, their hands un-clasp, something of a reflex, entering the common area where Merle and Davenport sit enjoying a game of chess, but the board is different than Lup remembers, and she realizes it has 4 sides, but only two players. She says hi, but doesn’t bother to try to understand their overcomplicated forms of entertainment. Instead, her and Barry make their way to the residential hallway of the ship, and Lup leads him to his room wordlessly. 

They share a look of understanding, a slight smile, as Barry opens the door. Lup thinks, briefly, about kissing him. They’ve kissed before. They’ve done more than kiss before. But it’s always isolated times, never an ongoing relationship -- probably more because of her than Barry, of course-- and she isn’t sure that this is the right time to make a move on him. She aches, though. She aches to comfort him, to hold him close, to show him love and to make him understand that he is appreciated. She wishes, in that moment, that she could just make Barry happy. 

As he opens the door to his bedroom, Lup shakes her head to get rid of the unnecessary thoughts, and prepares to walk back to the common room by herself. But right as she begins to turn away, she feels a gentle, calloused hand on her wrist, stopping her in her tracks. 

“Lup, I... do you think you could stay? I just… don’t want to be alone, right now,” are the words that fall from Barry’s lips, soft, unsure, treading into unknown territory. Lup’s mind explodes into a million thoughts. They’ve cuddled and slept together before, sure, but only after sex or related sexual things. This is a whole new can of worms. But she wants it. She wants it more than anything.

“Of course I can, Bar,” is all it takes, and they’re entering Barry’s bedroom together, locking the door behind them. It feels a bit mixed, to Lup, because it’s familiar and unfamiliar all at once. She’s been in here and slept here before, but only in a certain context. She loves Barry, because Barry is her family. But she also thinks she might love him in a different way, too, because as they strip to undress, climb into bed, and his heavy arm drapes over her waist in a close embrace, she feels something twinge deep inside of her, and pulls him even closer. Somehow, somehow, it feels like she can’t get close enough to him, and wishes that she could burrow inside of him and live in his warm scent. 

Their breathing syncs up, naturally, and she can hear Barry start to slip off into sleep. She’s happy; he looked so exhausted, and she could hear in the creakiness of his voice that he needed to rest. If her being there helps him feel safe, and helps him rest, than she would be here for him as long as he needed. 

-

Barry was always an early riser, and it was no different on the dewey Sunday morning when he wakes up to Lup in his bed. 

For the first few seconds, he’s surprised, because his brain isn’t thinking all that straight, and he isn’t really remembering the events of yesterday. No, at sunrise and before coffee, all he can do is feel, and he feels Lup’s warmth radiates from her deep brown smooth skin, and holds her even closer, his arms wrapped around her body. 

Lup’s face is relaxed, and as the golden sunlight of morning streams through his window, Barry can see the freckles that dot her shoulders, arms, and face, and the rays glint off of her gold nose ring. (Curse that ring. When she got it, Barry couldn’t stop staring, because it made her look even more badass than usual. She’s perfect.) Her mouth is open and drooling a bit onto her arm, which delights Barry. She looks really and truly candid, there, with nothing inhibiting her. Barry feels lucky that he gets to see her like this - her! Lup Taaco!

Speaking of which, the cogs in his brain are starting to move to try to remember why she’s in his bed, and why they are both in half-states of undress. Barry’s got on an old white t-shirt and his boxer briefs, and Lup’s in a similar attire, wearing only underwear and an oversized t-shirt (he thinks it is probably his, or maybe Magnus’). He recalls the events from last night, the way that he felt in a trance, forgetting to eat or sleep and instead just researching. It’s easy for him to slip into that headspace, get too absorbed in his work, forgetting to take care of himself. Usually, though, he’s researching on the ship and someone grabs him for dinner. He’s a grown man, he thinks, but that doesn’t stop him from being completely unaware of his needs. He reminds himself to grow up, and to be thankful for his family being there for him to rely on. 

Like Lup. 

Lup didn’t have to venture out on a Saturday night to find him, but she did, and he has no idea how long she looked before finding him. He feels selfish for making her do that, just to take care of him yet again, but he couldn’t help burying himself in his work, trying to erase in his mind the faces of coworkers and friends he made last year, being consumed by the dark entity known as the Hunger, and he and his family making away, saving no-one. Every time he closed his eyes he saw them, and it haunted him. It was easier to just work, just think about something else, just use his energy for productivity. But Lup is right. He has to let go. 

In her sleep, Lup shifts slightly, burrowing into Barry’s chest, and Barry looks down at her fondly. He’s so grateful for her, and how she’s there for him in times like last night. She didn’t have to stay the night to help him sleep, but she did. And he’s so happy she did.

In addition to snuggling closer to his chest, Lup’s hips wiggle closer to his, and Barry’s body goes rigid as she unconsciously grinds down on him. She lets out a sigh in her sleep, and wiggles back again, repeating the movement, and driving Barry crazy. 

Barry creates some space between them, because he’s not sure of the limits, and he certainly doesn’t want to mess anything up between them. He carefully removes himself from Lup’s warm cuddle, and he thinks that he’s done it without waking her up, but a moment later, she’s tensing, sitting up in his bed and looking around with weary eyes. In a low, croaky morning voice, she goes, “What time is it?” 

And though it shouldn’t be all that funny, he can’t help but laugh, because the question is so Lup to ask first thing in the morning. He rolls to his side slightly, checking the alarm clock by his bed. “It’s around 6, Lup.” 

She lets out a groan, burrowing back into the pillows, and an elven hand pulls him by the arm back to the middle of his bed, closer to her. He blushes, but complies, his arms making their way back around her waist, and she sighs a sigh of content. 

Barry’s not sure what she’s thinking about right now, considering the messiness of their past relationship, but all he can think about in this moment is how strikingly beautiful she is in the morning sunlight. Her winsome, slight body is illuminated by the open window’s rays and though she doesn’t face the morning, the morning faces her, and the morning sings an eternal song for her, a serenade, he thinks. He can’t blame it. She’s the most beautiful person Barry’s ever seen, and he holds her closer, steady. 

They stay like that for a while, and Barry is quiet, letting Lup snooze in and out of consciousness as she pleases, allowing her to not be a morning person. He’s content just laying there, her in his arms, reveling in the feeling of being close to her, her warmth. 

After maybe an hour or so of early morning cuddles and quiet yawns, Lup turns to face him, still so close to his own body, he notes. She locks eyes with him, and he looks into her pretty face, awestruck each time about how beautiful she is. Her eyes are a dark brown with flecks of caramel and gold, and he could spend days just looking into them, noting each bit of depth and clarity. They’re so expressive, too -- Barry can often hide his emotions, but Lup is nothing if not passionate, and her facial expressions give her away each time. This time, she’s worried -- for him. Her hand comes up to caress his face with a soft touch, and he feels like he’s a broken ceramic, and she’s gingerly trying to put him back together. 

“Barry?” she asks quietly, her eyes sincere. 

Barry swallows, putting on a smile for her. “Yeah?” 

“I want to help you relax,” she says cautiously, and Barry doesn’t connect the dots at first, but she goes on, “I care about you, Bar. I care about you so much. I can’t stand seeing you like you were yesterday. You looked out of your mind with worry and stress and you just couldn’t stop working. I… I want to help you relax, if you’ll let me,” she says, a bit more confident, and Barry’s not sure exactly what she means, until… 

Oh. Her hands, once cradling her face, are moving down to his chest, light, feathery touches that he can barely feel, but it’s Lup, and it’s good. He can feel the heat of his body race to his face, darkening his cheeks, and making him blush, but Lup just smiles. “Is this okay, Bar? It’s okay if not.” 

He nods, of course, of course he nods, of course he wants her. Barry Bluejeans is in a constant state of wanting Lup. Everything else is just in-between. 

With that encouragement, she surges forward, her hands coming to the hem of his t-shirt, pulling it up over his head. He helps her along, and once it’s off, her hands immediately come to his nipples, grazing them gently, and pinching down, rolling the soft buds between her slight fingers. As she does, under her breath, she murmurs a cantrip, and a translucent border of silence encapsulates the room. 

He moans in appreciation from Lup’s touch, the heat from his chest spreading through his veins, warming up his whole body, and moving south. He can feel himself grow hard from her gentle touch, a small wet spot on his briefs as Lup moves downward, kissing his neck and sucking, nipping, leaving small hickies on her way down, taking her time. The first time they kissed was more than 10 years ago, and they’ve hooked up more times than Barry can count, and Lup knows exactly what to do to make Barry a puddle beneath her. He’s truly undone in her hands, letting out a moan under his breath as Lup’s mouth connects with his nipple, her tongue swirling around the mound and her teeth just barely grazing his skin. He arches up, because he can’t help it - she’s good at this, and knows him like the back of her hand. 

As she wraps her mouth around the second one, he chokes down a gasp, and Lup sits up a bit, tuting at him. He swallows. “Bar… I cast silence, remember? Let me hear you,” she says softly, confidently, and Barry nods, as she places a kiss on his chest, and continues to leave bite marks and hickies on his skin. She’s going at this insane pace, like there’s infinite time in the world, and, well, Barry supposes that there is. Obediently, as Lup’s teeth graze a sensitive spot near his nipple, he lets out a low whine. Lup drinks it up, praising him with kisses and hums all over his stomach. 

His stomach. He’s insecure about it, sure, it’s not his favorite part of his body. Sometimes he looks at himself in clothes and feels weird about his weight, remembering when he was younger and slimmer, but Lup always praises him. Right then, she lays a kiss just above his belly button, and smiles against the skin. “You’re so sexy, Bar,” she mumbles, and he feels his face get even hotter, smiling back at her. “You look so good.” 

He can barely believe her, because it’s almost like she isn’t real. She’s still ethereal in the window light, her eyes a bit more awake now, and she’s so radiant it looks like she could float away any time. Absolutely magical. Magic exudes from her every word and expression like honey. She continues kissing down his stomach, stopping at his happy trail and teasing him there, leaving little hickies just near his hips, appreciating the hair that leads down. She’s practically teasing him at this point, taking her sweet time, and he clenches his legs, because it’s good, and he wants to live in this moment forever, but he’s also really, really turned on. She doesn’t seem to acknowledge his expression, though, and lightly traces his skin with her fingers just near his waistband. “Lup,” he pleads, needing some sort of contact that he knows she can give him, she can give him better than anyone. “Lup, I- please.” 

The words just seem to embolden her, as her ears flick in a perk up and she purrs against his skin, “what do you want, baby?” 

“I want - I need you to touch me, please,” he begs, and she nods, mouthing the words “good boy” on his skin as her long fingers hook under the waistband of his briefs, pulling them down and out of the way. He’s naked now, Lup positioned a bit above him, her mouth continuing to suck hickies into his hips and thighs. She settles between his legs, and he aches, needing to be touched, needing some sort of contact, wetness growing between his legs. He watches her intently, appreciating the pretty sight of her in the slow morning: as she’s putting her whole effort into taking care of him, paying attention to him, she is wonderful. Her hair, a brilliant shade of blue, is messy with bedhead, and he reaches out to touch it. Her hair is soft to the touch, a bit tangled from the night, and he threads his fingers into it, mostly just because he can. 

Familiar, long eleven fingers settle on his thighs, and he gasps as his legs are lifted a bit apart, and her head sinks to his middle, licking a long stripe over his folds, making his cry out with the unexpected motion and feeling. “Yes-- yes,” he urges, and she smiles against his skin, continuing to lick long, torturously slow licks from his perineum to his cock, sometimes swirling her tongue around it, making his legs seize up and shake beneath her grasp, but she holds him steady. Every time any noise escapes his mouth, involuntary, pulled from deep inside of him by her gentle actions, she seems to revel in it, and he shudders when he can feel her smile against him, her mouth continuing to lick deeper, longer, more. 

The pleasure is overwhelming, and he can feel the shock of it barrel through his body, making him shiver, and making the hickies and bites and kisses all over his body tingle, just adding to the wave of heat under his skin. 

She stops for a moment, and Barry pants, the pleasure still clouding his brain, and Lup asks after a moment, one long elven finger slipping into his folds, “is this okay?” 

Barry nods, enthusiastically, his hips urging forward to accept the entrance, feeling her finger sink inside of him easily, feeling the pressure give way as her finger enters him. His hips rock against her, needing more friction, needing to be filled, and Lup looks down at the pretty sight below her in wonderment, seeing her boy completely and fully undone for her, just squirming for more of her to give. So she does, slipping another finger inside of him, giving him what he needs, and curls her fingers upwards to stroke his g-spot, beckoning him forward and making him yelp. His body shakes with pleasure, his head thrown back and eyes shut tightly, a thin layer of sweat forming behind his knees and on his forehead, little hairs sticking to his face. He looks, feels, and tastes devine, in Lup’s opinion. 

Lup’s lips continue to work around his cock, licking and sucking and swirling around the hardness, making Barry’s eyes roll back into his head. Her hand surges deeper, massaging his walls, making his hips arch up to meet the touch, as she slips in another finger, slowly opening him up and making his moans grow louder. He can’t help but move with her, meeting her thrusts with his own movements, making her kiss his thighs in appreciation, murmuring praises against his skin. The ones he hears make him feel even more melty: “Good boy,” “Look so good like this,” and “Doing so well for me.” 

He breathes out whines as she fucks him with her fingers roughly, keeping a consistent rhythm with just a little bit of burn. It’s absolutely perfect, and makes Barry incoherent. But he breathes out her name, “Lup,” because he needs something more, he needs, he needs - “I need you, Lup,” he gets out, his hips moving against her hand in earnest, his back arching for more, and in that moment, he needs her more than anything. 

Lup lets out a little chuckle against his skin, and pulls out her fingers, leaving a hot, sticky string connecting her hand and Barry’s cock, and Barry supposes she can’t help doing the thing that would be the most hot option, bringing her fingers up to her mouth and licking them clean, making eye contact with him as she does. He wishes he had a camera in his mind to take a mental picture and remember that in perfect clarity forever, because it sure is a pretty picture. 

She leans up and catches Barry by the lips, kissing him deeply, and he can taste himself on her tongue, and fuck if that isn’t hot. As she does, she’s pulling down her panties with one hand, and Barry can feel her clit against his leg, hot and weeping, and he’s sure that she’s aching with pleasure. He can also feel her hand, coming down to where her length is, giving herself a few pumps, relieving that pressure. It is all too much for Barry, who feels empty, now, and has the hottest woman he’s ever seen jacking off next to his hip. His hips arch up, looking for contact, but her fingers just grasp his waist, pulling him back down, settling him. She gives him a look. “Just a second, Bar, and then I’ll make you feel so good.” 

And she does, holding his hips down, and kneeling to line herself up with Barry’s entrance and giving herself another few tugs, letting her hard clit slide over Barry’s folds in a way that makes his bones feel like jelly. Then, she positions herself steadily, bracing her legs against the sheets, and pushes inside of him, penetrating his hole and slowly, slowly sinking inside of him. He can’t breathe, for a moment, because all he can feel is her, spreading him open, filling him up. He shifts, spreading his legs even wider, just to take her better, to feel her more. It feels perfect to Barry, like it was meant to be this way, like maybe they were made for each other. Lup is going slower than ever, gentle, just barely moving, and finally, their hips meet, and Lup is fully inside of him, locked together. His eyes are in the back of his head, escaping him with pleasure, but Lup’s careful hands sneak their way under his back, holding him up, caressing his waist with gentleness and care, and sliding inside him smoothly and easily. 

He cries out at a particularly hard thrust, arching against her, moving to get her even deeper inside of him. Even better, she reaches a hand down to his cock, rubbing the head with her thumb in earnest with her thrusts. He can feel his muscles jerk from the way she’s treating him, the consistent, hard motions against his insides, making him cry out each time she enters him again. It’s good, it’s so good, and she curses her praise for him loudly as she fucks him, “Fuck, baby, you feel good. So good for me. So, so good, Bar,” and it’s almost like a prayer against his skin, and it electrifies him. 

He cums on her clit with little to no warning to himself or to her, because it crashes over him, all at once, the feelings all over his body are on fire, and Lup fans the flames by sucking a hickey into his chest, her teeth grazing his skin as his back arches, his limbs tensing and his eyes rolling back. He can feel himself tense on Lup’s clit, squeezing her length, and she continues to fuck him through it, making him gasp and sigh with overstimulation. She watches it all like she’s drinking it, like she’s hungry and he’s the only food in the world. She finishes a minute later, her thrusts going erratic, and all it takes is seeing Barry’s weary face, full of love as he smiles up at her. She buries herself in him, filling him up all the way, and letting herself go, moaning as she does. Barry moans too, feels her warmth spreading inside of him, feeling spent and overstimulated but better than he’s felt in a long time. 

Lup collapses on his chest, and he holds her close, her clit slipping out of him and their mixed liquids dribbling out onto Barry’s thighs, but he can’t care right now, his arms slipping around Lup’s waist. Beautiful Lup. Her hair sticks to her forehead in a sweaty mess, and her face is flushed darker than usual, her eyes hazy and smiling. She looks uniquely gorgeous, Barry realizes for the millionth time, and he holds her closer. She sighs, returning the embrace, her long fingers coming up to tangle in Barry’s salt-and-pepper hair. 

“Thank you,” Barry mumbles against her hair, and Lup looks up at him, seemingly incredulous. 

“Thank you, Bar, you did so good,” she insists, and to Barry’s dismay, she sits up, pulling away from his hands. He tries to remind himself she wouldn’t be gone forever. Easily, she casts prestidigitation to clean up, and Barry feels the stickiness on his legs disappear. Then, there’s a bottle of water in her hand, and Barry’s so tired that he’s not sure if she conjured it or if it was in the room all along. He smiles wearily as she brings the water to his lips, quietly murmuring “drink,” and he does, needing the hydration. It feels, sometimes, that Lup is more in touch with his needs and feelings than he is. 

There is no certainty to their relationship, because he’s tried before and he knows that Lup is not keen on beginning a real romantic relationship with anyone right now, and he understands, of course he understands, because it's the most logical thing to do. They didn’t know how long they’d be on the Starblaster, and the risks of what would happen if the relationship went wrong outweigh the benefits. It’s just hard for him to be logical around her, because the way she is defies all reason. She’s incredible, magical, luminous. She’s the most intelligent person he’s ever met, and talking to her makes him feel like he’s floating with her, and they’re in their own little world. 

He pulls her closer, because he can, and they’re cuddling again, her back flush with his front, and she burrows closer to him. He loves her, he thinks. He loves her.

**Author's Note:**

> hope u enjoyed this self indulgent piece of something. find me on tumblr @willmike ! 
> 
> if you liked please leave a comment, they mean everything to me !


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